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How to Impress her for less than $10: Make real popcorn

When you’ve managed to get her to come to your place, it would be great if you could make her this romantic five-course meal that she helps you with. But that’s just dreaming if you’re not Gordon Ramsey. Let’s be honest. Most single guys can barely pull off ordering a pizza, let alone making a meal from scratch. Today’s woman knows that, so if you really want to impress her, then make something from your kitchen. That’s the room that you keep your hot sauce and beer cold in.

Let’s say you don’t know what to make. Well, let’s be honest and say you don’t know how to make anything. No problem. I’ve got a slam-dunk thing you can make that is easy, doesn’t cost a lot, and is gluten-free, sugar-free, vegetarian, and can even be vegan. It’s popcorn!

NO. I DON’T MEAN MICROWAVE POPCORN.

I said this was easy to make, but it’s not that easy. It is harder to make popcorn from the stovetop than it is to make it with a microwave. It’s gonna take more than just opening up a door, placing a package in, and then hitting a button. This is going to require more effort, but that is what she is looking for, so doing a little extra work is what you want. When it comes to impressing a girl, sometimes the effort made is more important than the result. With making real popcorn, she’ll like both the making and the end result, because stovetop popcorn is way better-tasting than the microwave junk. Here’s what you need:

A big frying pan with a lid (The lid is really important)
One large paper grocery bag
Cooking oil (I like sunflower oil, but regular vegetable oil is fine)
Popcorn kernels (I prefer organic. Girls love anything organic)
Butter (Any butter will do, but I like Kerigold Irish butter)
Salt
A big fun bowl to put the finished popcorn in.

STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS (DON’T WORRY. IT’S EASY)

  1. Take out your pan, put it on the stovetop, and turn on the burner to really hot. Make sure you have a tight-fitting lid for the pan.
  2. Pour about 3 tablespoons of the oil into the pan. Don’t have a way to measure tablespoons? Ok. You could use a regular tablespoon to give about the same measurement (Captain Obvious Note: A tablespoon is bigger than a teaspoon). If you don’t even have spoons, then just guess and pour enough oil into the pan to lightly cover the bottom.
  3. Let the oil get hot in the pan. Not scary smoking hot, but hot enough where you are starting to worry. Hint: The oil will start dancing a little.
  4. While the oil is heating, melt the butter. You can melt it in a very small pot on the stovetop OR you can use the evil microwave. If your date is health-conscious, she may appreciate you not using the microwave.
  5. Now that the oil is hot, add about 1/3 of a cup of the popcorn kernels. Don’t have a measuring cup? Ok, you can use an average-sized coffee cup to measure or just pour some kernels in the pan. Don’t pour in too many.
  6. Shake the pan a few times, cover it, and wait.
  7. In less than a minute, the kernels will begin to pop. A few at first and then a bunch will start popping rather violently. At this point, you’ll understand why you needed a good cover for the pan.
  8. Keep shaking the pan until the popping slows, then take the pan off the heat and keep shaking until the popping stops.
  9. Now open the paper bag and pour the newly popped corn in. It may be tough to not get popcorn everywhere when you make this transfer.
  10. Once the popcorn is in the bag, sprinkle in some salt, close the bag and shake. Open the bag, add more salt, re-close and re-shake.
  11. If your girl is not vegan, open the paper bag again, pour in half the melted butter, close, shake and repeat with the rest.
  12. Transfer the popcorn from the paper bag to a big bowl. Congratulations. You’re done. Now take the popcorn and go decide on a movie together. Just make sure she picks the movie.

The popcorn you just made should be awesome. If it isn’t, don’t be upset, just laugh at yourself. Women like it when you can laugh at yourself.

BONUS INGREDIENT: If your date seems unimpressed at your popcorn-making skills, add a generous amount of M&Ms to the bowl. Add them in a pile right in the center. Plain or peanut. The combo of salt and sweet should make her pretty happy. If it doesn’t, look for another girl. This one isn’t for you.

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