Dating a vegetarian

I remember way back the first time I saw “Pulp Fiction”. The character Jules, played by Samuel Jackson, proclaims that his “girlfriend is a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian”. When I heard that line, it seemed so cool to me. How cosmopolitan is Jules dating a vegetarian? Well, that was in 1994 with the movie’s setting in California which is one of the more forward thinking and liberal areas of the US.

In today’s America, there has been a rise in vegetarianism with most polls estimating five to eight percent of the population being vegetarian. A smaller percentage of this is considered vegan which has much greater food restrictions.


Some guys don’t know the difference between vegetarians and vegans. It’s easy to assume that a vegetarian eats only vegetables because the name sounds like that. But what about vegan? Other than it starting with a “v”, the name really gives no clue on its diet. Vegan sounds more like a belief than a diet. You’d think vegans worship the sun and have weird mid-night rituals during full moons while wearing nothing but flowers and feathers.

Although both types of diets can attract the idealistic type of people and women, there are no official beliefs or rituals attached to the vegetarian or the vegan diet. Their definitions are as follows.

Vegetarian diet – There are some variations here, but for the most part, vegetarians don’t eat meat from animals. Most will eat foods derived from animals like milk, cheese, and eggs. And most will eat fish, but not all.

Vegan diet – The vegan diet is easier to define. They eat nothing derived from animals. Period. I’m talking nothing. Not even the honey that bees make.


If you are about to date or are dating a vegetarian or vegan woman, it’s really important to find out why they eat the way they do. Being a yogi living in a city, I know quite a few of these people and am currently dating a vegetarian. Most are passionate about their diet. More so than you are about eating bacon and spare ribs. There are three basic reasons why people decide to go with these diets, and they can branch out and become very specific and personal.

1. They don’t want to eat animals – A good friend of more than twenty-five years, once told me “I don’t want to eat anything with a face”. To her, the thought of eating animals was the deterrent. I’d say most vegetarians fall in this category. They view animals as something that is closer to what they are and therefore, don’t want to eat them.

To them, the life force of animals is different than the life of plants. The plant’s life force is of some lesser degree, so it’s ok to kill and eat them. Some don’t like the thought of death and how painful it probably is. Animals are dynamically expressive and vocal when avoiding death, so it appears more gruesome. Plants are stationary and appear more stoic during their demise, so their preparation for the dinner table seems more humane.

Some vegetarians will eat fish only because they heard somewhere that fish have a much greater threshold for pain. They acutely associate the level of pain something has to go through so they can eat it. I’ve been a fisherman for many years, and wouldn’t want to take some of my vegetarian friends out on a fishing trip. If they could see how dynamically hard fish fight for their lives, they’d probably stop eating them too.

Some vegans are hardcore about the death of animals. They won’t own or wear anything associated with the killing of them. They won’t wear animal fur or leather products and make sure not to consume or use any by-products. Some of these people are extreme and will judge you harshly if you eat meat or wear a leather jacket.

These radicals feel that animal consumption is the root of all violence and everything that’s bad with humanity. If you are thinking about dating one of these hardcore idealistic vegans, good luck. I just hope the sex is good enough to put up with her radical judgmental bullshit.

2. They don’t think eating animals is healthy – Overall, the people who go vegetarian for this reason are more tolerable and less judgmental of those different than them. They are not eating meat for more personal and individual reasons, their own health.

There is something to be said for eating a plant based only diet. Many long-term studies point to its benefits, so it’s not just an idealistic or placebo thing. I have known many people who have become vegetarians due to some formed health issues or just because they are older and want to feel better.

I have experimented with the vegetarian diet and not because my girlfriend was one like Jules in Pulp Fiction. I did feel somewhat better but overall; felt that a small amount of quality animal meat along with a colorful diet was best for me.

3. Religious beliefs – About twenty percent of the world’s population are vegetarian due to their religious influences. In the US, this percentage is low so chances are the vegetarians that you know, meet, or even date will be ones by personal choice.


Some years back, a friend of mine was looking to get married and was dating heavily. She was a vegan. She lived in Florida, met a guy from Texas online and they hit it off so well that they decided to meet. The Texan flew to Orlando for the weekend to meet her and on the first day, they got along really well. I saw my friend that night at a restaurant/hangout, and she was beaming with happiness. “How’s the Texas guy”, I asked.

“He’s great. He’s nice, and he’s cute. I think he’s going to be getting lucky tonight”, she answered with excitement. I was happy to hear it. I mean, this guy flew in from Texas to meet this girl, and now he was at least going to get laid for it.

A week later, I saw my friend again and asked her how it was going with Texas Pete? “It didn’t work out”, she said. I was surprised.

“Really? You seemed so happy with him that night. What happened?”

“Well, everything was going great. He was being really nice and sweet. So that night you saw me, we went to dinner and he ordered shrimp”.

“Ok”. I said, “So that was a problem?”

“Well, I didn’t think so at first. He even asked if it was OK if he ordered shrimp and I said it was. But then they came, and he started eating them” she continued. “I thought I would be cool with it but as I watched him eat them, I got grossed out. Things went downhill from there.”

“Ok, so let me recap”, I asked. “This nice guy asks you if he can order shrimp cause he knows by then that you are vegan. You tell him its fine so he orders them and eats them, and you got turned off by it.”

“Yep. I felt really bad about it, but I couldn’t help it.”

“Well, that really sucks. So did you even have sex with him?”

“No. I couldn’t possibly have sex with him after that. I was just so grossed out by it all. It’s too bad. He was really nice”.

So here’s this nice guy, spending money and time to fly over to see a girl he met online. He is cool and does everything right, and she likes him and is about to fuck him. And then he orders shrimp and it kills the whole thing. That’s what it’s like to date some of these female vegetarians.


I’m a meat eater. I’m not going to apologize for it, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. But I’m a man too who is attracted to beautiful women, and when I met my current girlfriend, I wasn’t deterred by her being a vegetarian. I liked her, so I proceeded but with some caution.

My health is very important to me, so nobody can prevent me from eating what I think is good for me. The theory that man was meant to be a meat eater is strongly believed by me, but it’s not a hill I ever plan to die on. And I’m not gonna let a plate of shrimp stop me from getting laid so early on in my relationship, so I was careful with what I ordered when we went out.

I have a degree of respect for the guys out there who will eat what they want and not be deterred by the sensitivities of a vegetarian woman. It’s noble for them to proclaim their lifestyle by eating a big plate of bar-b-q ribs. Your date may be grossed out in the growing of your food baby by tearing apart chicken body parts and missing your mouth with grease and sauce. But that’s ok. You showed her that you are gonna be you no matter what. Good for you making a statement as you go to bed that night with nothing but heartburn and blue balls because she didn’t have sex with you after.

So, I felt my new situation out, and made sure I didn’t gross her out with what I ordered. And it turned out that she wasn’t a judgmental vegetarian asshole, so we got along well. There are situations though where I will order vegetarian dishes. When we share things, I make sure it’s something we can both eat. And when I cook dinner for us, I make sure the meal is mainly vegetarian. These I feel are small sacrifices made in my diet so I can co-exist better with my girlfriend.


1. Having some understanding of her diet – Odds are, that a vegetarian is more conscious of what she eats and why, than you are. She doesn’t just hit the McDonald’s on the way home because it’s tasty and convenient. She has researched and thought out what she should eat, and you will get along better with her if you understand and respect that.

2. Be aware of what your meal looks like to her – You are a meat eater, so you don’t care if your meal looks like it was just happily walking around an hour ago. She may though. I love to cook a whole fish, but when I plan on having a whole grilled fish when my girl is over, I cut the head of it off. She doesn’t like the thing looking back at her when she’s eating it. I get that.

Vegetarians can also be grossed out by bones, tendons, skin, apparent body parts, and raw or undercooked meat or eggs. If some of those things matter to her, order something else or eat those things when you have dinner without her.

3. Avoid letting her bully you into eating her way – When eating with your girl, you don’t want it to turn into food wars. Again, she probably is more health conscious than you, so she may want to improve you by changing your diet.

Now, if you are a hoagie eater who can’t see his dick anymore because his gut has grown over it, then maybe you should listen to her some. A lot of guys need a good woman to help them make positive changes in their lives. But don’t just fold into her proclaimed better way of eating just cause she’s a girl and is giving you sex. I know this sound harsh but let’s be honest here. We all do shit just to get or keep getting laid.

I’ve seen my share of guys turning vegetarian only because their new girlfriend is one. That’s not good. It gives her too much power and takes away too much of whom you were when you two met. You can turn vegetarian and that’s cool. But do it on your own and by your own observations and learning. You can change who you are but don’t lose who you are just because you have a girlfriend. That shit will catch up with you eventually.

Leave a Reply