Dating in your 40’s

I don’t know how it is that you got here. More than likely it was from divorce. Could be that you just got divorced in the last couple years, which sucks. Or maybe you’ve been separated for many years and are older now. Of course, you may have never been married and now find yourself older and dating.

Regardless of how you got here, you’re here. And now you must date in your forties. Yikes! Does this sound bad to you? It shouldn’t. Dating in your forties can be pretty damn great. Here’s some reasons why:

I’M A MAN! I’M 40!

Football coach Mike Gundy’s quote, made famous mainly from YouTube, was funny to watch but he was right. We do become men when we are forty and that’s when we really start to benefit from things as a male. And dating can easily make the list of benefits.

My father used to always say, “You don’t start livin’ til you’re 40.” I didn’t believe him as a kid, though. I just thought it was something some old guy said to make his old ass feel better. As it turned out, he was right on this. Big time right.

By the time a guy makes it into his forties, he’s been through a lot. He’s maybe tried a lot of stupid shit and learned what he likes and doesn’t like. He’s started careers and has been treated with little respect until he learned how to be good at his job. He’s successfully navigated through the early years of becoming a man, having to deal with his own lack of confidence while the women in his life and society expected him to be a rock.

Now you’re a man in your forties and when someone asks you something, you know how to feel about it. You’ve become more comfortable in your own skin and instead of picking all the battles, you’re just picking the ones you want to fight. And it feels good somehow. Everything is a little better in your life because you are starting to realize what it feels like to be a man and not a boy. And now you have to date. Poor guy.


So far this has pretty much been a pep talk for older guys dating, but it’s now time for some negative reality. There are two things that can make it worse for you to date now than when you were younger. And they are your physical condition and closed-mindedness.

We all know guys like this—trapped in their high school or college years. Their minds are occupied with the days they played sports, drank like fish, ate like horses, and fucked young girls. Since then they don’t play any sports or even go outside much, but they do still drink like fish and eat like shit. And you can guess what else they don’t do anymore. That’s right. They’re not even fucking their old fat wife much as of late. It won’t be much fun dating in this guy’s forties. His polyester coach shorts and hot-wing breath won’t get him too far in the ladies’ department. Hell, women can get the twenty-five-year-old version of that all day anywhere there’s a football game on and cheap alcohol near a university.

Being older and out of shape will not make dating in your forties better. And neither will being closed-minded.

We all know this guy, too—set in his ways to a fault. Nobody could tell him much when he was a young man and now that he is older, you can’t tell him jack shit. He feels that the older ways of doing things were better and everything new sucks. This guy wears the same brand of jeans, has a twenty-year-old hairstyle (even though it now looks horrible), and doesn’t vacation anywhere new. He is only in his forties but is stubborn like an eighty-five-year-old man.

Being older and closed-minded will also not make for a fun time in the dating department.


Consider some of this stuff and your dating will improve. Some basic dating 101 stuff like hygiene and eye contact isn’t listed here. It couldn’t at all hurt to read up on that too.

Confidence – Only one thing may be certain. That is that you are more confident than you were when you were younger. Learn to trust your confidence. Women find older men attractive. What do you think the main reason for that is? Do I really have to say it?

Be neat and organized – Women see you now as a man. That messy surfer hair and smelly car with week-old pizza boxes might’ve been cute to her twenty years ago. Not anymore. She’s gonna want you to be clean and have an organized life now.

Be established – Hopefully you’ve made some kind of groove for yourself in the world by now. And hopefully you want to go somewhere in the future with it. Please don’t get me wrong on this. You may not be looking for a wife or a girlfriend at this point in your life. You may just be wanting to get laid. That’s cool and guess what? Your date may just want the same. She may not care what your career status is, but she is hardwired to be attracted to an established man. You want her to be attracted to you so she’ll have sex with you and that’s why this is important. You feel me, dog?

If you have some money, spend it – Just because you are older now doesn’t mean you’re rich. The vast majority of us aren’t. You do understand your finances better now, though, so if you can, go somewhere nicer or do something better than what you are used to. It’s time to start living a little and doing more for yourself. If you can do some things now that you couldn’t do before, then do them with a beautiful girl on a nice date. It could turn into one of the best times of your life. It could be an expensive disaster too, but we are men and that’s the chance we’ll take.

If you are not in good health, then get in better shape – Whether you are dating to find a wife, girlfriend, casual acquaintance, or a one-night stand, you’ll want to be in good shape. Dating should be fun and new and exciting. Add vibrance to this adventure by eating well and exercising and feeling good. Doing this will also put you in a positive mindset, which is excellent for dating.

This could truly be the best time of your life, but like anything else great, you’ll have to work at it. Get out there and mix it up a bit. Remember: A beautiful mermaid probably isn’t going to flop up to your door and ring the bell. You’re gonna have to go out and find her.

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