Most guys don’t think much about their hair. Unless of course, if they are losing it. Younger men do think more about it as the world has changed and we are all now more fashion conscious. Also, facial hair has definitely become a thing, so that has sparked more interest in what our hairstyle is as there is a relationship between your beard and your head of hair.
HOW YOU DECIDED ON YOUR FACIAL HAIR
It wasn’t very long ago that most American men didn’t have any facial hair. Unless they were some kind of mountain man or miner, American men kept a hairless face. And they shaved every single day too. There were no varying degrees of growth like we have now. The only thing there was was a thing called “the five o’clock shadow” which meant you really needed to shave.
We choose our facial hair depending on three main things – the face shape, how hair grows on our face, and our personality. These three things limit us to what we can have. I can’t grow a full beard because it doesn’t grow everywhere. I also can’t have a long beard because my facial hair doesn’t grow long well. And I don’t go without any facial hair because that wouldn’t fit my personality.
Today there are about fifty different ways to have facial hair and all are perfectly acceptable in almost any social scenario. But how do the ones that fit your face and personality best go with the hairstyle you have? Well, just as facial hair style is important, so is head hairstyle.
THE LIMITATIONS OF HAIRSTYLES
When we were twelve years old, our hair was thick, healthy, and grew everywhere. In those early days, we could have our hair any way we wanted it. Now, most of us have receded hairlines, landing pads, and thinned out graying hair that doesn’t cooperate quite like it used to.
Hair loss is easily the biggest limiter of male hairstyles. It also creates a lot of emotional distress with men. Some guys, who don’t care about shit, will care about the fact that they are losing their hair. My best friend, whom I grew up with, started wearing a hat in his mid-twenties and I never saw him without it for about twenty years. Then one day, seemingly out of the blue, he shows up somewhere not wearing a hat. His hair looked good, too. He had a good hairline and his hair looked healthy. I later found out from another friend that over a few years, my buddy had gotten hair transplants. I was surprised that he never told me about it as we were pretty close and worked together for years. To this day, we never spoke about the fact that he wore a hat (even coming out of the shower) for two decades, and then all of a sudden, no more hat and perfect looking hair.
One of the worse things we see on this topic is the guy who’s had long hair since he was a kid, and now, he still does but absolutely shouldn’t. He shouldn’t because his hair is now either too thin or he’s too bald to still be sporting “the lifestyle” look. Sure, he had amazing long hair when he was sixteen and started a rock band. Now, even though he’s still shredding an electric guitar, he is long past time to cut that mess.
Then there’s the guy with the hairline that receded back enough to meet his bald spot, so now he just has hair in a horseshoe shape. Since he refuses to cut back his hair ring, he looks like he’s wearing a Roman leaf crown. Yea, it’s thumbs down for that, Ceasar.
YOUR HAIRSTYLE SHOULD PROBABLY CHANGE OVER THE YEARS
The biggest reason that guys with bad hairstyles have them is because it’s what they’ve had for years. Some men don’t like change and it only gets worse as they get older. Only a very few men can keep the same hairstyle that they had decades ago, so unless you are Kurt Russell, it may be time for a new look.
We are all aware that fashion is constantly changing. Styles change too and just because you are older doesn’t mean you are stylistically stuck in the decade you first got laid in. You don’t have to be a kid to look current and relevant. Male hairstyles are in this category. If you are newly single after being in a very long-term relationship, then you may need that change the most.
WHAT SHOULD YOUR HAIRSTYLE BE?
We all have pluses and minuses. I have been fortunate to have had good hair as a plus for my whole life so far. My hair has been long for many years now and I plan on keeping it that way for as long as I can. I also have colored my hair to prevent it from looking gray.
Over the past three years, I have dated a beautiful hair stylist. At first, she said nothing about my long hair except that when I pulled it back into a ponytail, I should do a better job at making it tighter. So, for the first six months or so of dating her, I would wear my hair down about half the time, which was how I had always done it. I always thought my hair worn down made me look more attractive. Then, as Brittney (yea, that’s not her real name) and I got to know each other better, she started to come clean with how she thought my hair should be. And it wasn’t to wear it down.
My girlfriend and I have had a pretty good relationship considering. One of the best things we’ve had is true honesty. Her honesty, although brutal at times, has been a welcomed change for me. So when it came to my hairstyle, which was her profession, her honesty was stern and accurate. She eventually convinced me that I should ALWAYS wear my hair back in a ponytail and never color it.
This change of hairstyle took time for me to digest. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust my professional girlfriend as she is a very successful mid to high-end stylist. It was my old mentality of thinking that my “surfer dude” look and mentality was my most attractive look. What she made me see is that I’m not really a surfer dude as much as I am a non-conforming, older intellectual male. There was a difference. The tighter, cleaner look of my hair worn back actually represented me better than the way I had been wearing my hair. And it took a while but my hair looks much better in its natural gray state. The change has resulted in an improved look and more current style for the type of guy I am. And I can’t recommend this more for every man!
UPDATING YOUR HAIRSTYLE
There’s a good chance that the way your hair is is the best way to go. But it’s definitely worth the effort to do a check on your hairstyle. I have been extremely lucky to have dated a hair stylist. I know now that they are the ones who can help you the most with this. Your current stylist or barber is probably giving you what you are asking for. So in order to be able to utilize their professional opinion, you’re going to have to have a conversation.
Before dating my hairdresser girlfriend, I had two excellent stylists that used to cut my hair but they didn’t help me with this. That is because they were giving me what I asked for. They probably saw me as a confident guy who knows what he wants, so they should give that to me. It’s not good business to argue with your client. My girlfriend though had no problem arguing with me so she was able to get to the bottom of it. You’ll have to create the same relationship with your hair professional.
Here are a couple tips on how to make sure you have the right hairstyle:
Look at men’s hairstyles on the internet- It helps more than you think to just see what is being worn out there in the world. Looking around at hairstyles might give you an idea that you may be able to make a change.
Look at actors’ styles around your age and personality – This is the best way to see what hairstyles look best on men. Actors of all ages are the best reference for style in our society. You can see how they look in roles and in their real lives both casual and formal. Actors have the money for wigs, color, transplants, and super high-end haircuts that would make any man look great.
Looking at actors’ hairstyles is seeing hair at its absolute best, especially the old guys.
Be honest with the status of your head and your age – Hairstyle is like all fashion in that some things won’t work for everyone. And when you get older, you can’t pull off as much of the super contemporary looks. No guy wants to look like he is trying to be younger or holding on some youthful past.
I’m not saying you have to conform to some company look or that you can’t have style outside of the box. You can absolutely look according to your personality. Just make sure and consider your age along with that.
And you have to be realistic with what you now have to work with. There are many guys who don’t have a good enough head of hair to wear it long. It may be painful, but you have to access the status of the hair on your head and accept your limitations accordingly. It’s better than the alternative of looking pathetic.
Consider the cost and effort to make your hair how you want it – There are a lot of options out there now for improving the look of your hair. There’s no harm in considering what it would take and how much to get the look you want. Beware though as some of that shit is pricey.
Also, some hairstyles require time and effort every day in order for them to look good. If you are a construction worker or are too manly to work on your hair every morning with a bunch of products, then that super cool looking hairstyle that Johnny Depp sported at the Emmys may not be for you after all.
Don’t be afraid to change. It’s hair. It’ll grow back – Getting a face tattoo is definitely a decision that should only be made after a huge amount of consideration (and counseling). But changing your hairstyle and/or its color is in no way permanent. That shit will grow back and grow out, so take a risk if that’s what you need in life at the moment.
Make sure your hair professional knows he/she can be honest with their opinion – The odds are really high that the person who cuts your hair knows which hairstyle you should have. Even if you have never spoken to them, they will know what’s best by things like the shape of your face, your head, your hair type, the amount of hair you have, and your age. Now, if you go to them a few times and they can catch a glimpse of your personality, then they can use that too to gauge how you should wear your hair.
But if you don’t give them the permission to give you their honest opinion, then they will only give you (their client) what you ask for. Many years ago, I had a mullet haircut. At the time it was ok because the mullet was in style for the young man that I was. There was a problem with my mullet though, and that was I wore it way too long.
So unbeknownst to me, I was wearing a hairstyle that was severely out of date. At some point, I was told be someone that the mullet had to go, so I replaced it with another style. I also stopped going to my hairstylist, mad at her for letting me have a mullet way past its time. I did run into her many years later at a party. She was a very cool person and it had been a long time ago, so I was able to ask her about my mullet. “Why did you let me wear that mullet for so long,” I asked.
She answered me with something like “well you always seemed to know what you wanted so I just kept giving you what you asked for”. She was a little embarrassed and so was I, but I learned a good lesson that day. Part of why you go to a hair stylist is for them to keep you looking good with a cut, at least from the same decade that you’re in.
Make sure your hair professional knows that this is also what you want and expect from them. Tell them you want to stay up to date and have as good a hairstyle as you can, and that you want them to help you have that. Give them the permission they need to give you the best style your head can have. And if what they do doesn’t work out for you, it’s ok. Just keep trying and be sure to do some research of your own so you can help make the decision too.