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You eat like you have sex

I was recently having coffee with some girlfriends of mine and one of them was talking about her nephew. She was saying that when he was eating the other day, he was super sloppy about it. Apparently, he had food on his face and crumbs all around him. This nephew of my friend was only 19 years old and living with his parents and he was about 10 years younger than her.

After he was done eating, my friend gave her nephew some advice. “Dude, you gotta learn to eat better. Especially when you go on a date,” she told him. “You know, how you eat is how you have sex”. I don’t know whether this  19 year old took his aunt’s advice or not, but the story made me think. I realized that how we eat does say something about how we have sex. I mean of course it does.

TO WOMEN, EVERYTHING MEANS SOMETHING

Women usually consider themselves more intuitive than men and I agree. The reason is because they pay attention to every little thing. Most girlfriends can tell you what she was wearing, what you were wearing, where you went, and where you were sitting on your first date. Even if it was like 8 years ago. The guy might remember which restaurant it was and how far he got at the end of the date but that’s about it. Almost everything women do has meaning and they place meaning on almost everything guys do. So it absolutely stands to reason that they are paying attention to how you eat.

WHY DO WE EAT LIKE WE HAVE SEX?

A very talented yoga instructor friend of mine always says, “how we do one thing is how we do everything.” I couldn’t agree with her more. Sloppy dressers driving dirty cars are usually unorganized and messy in many other parts of their lives. And neat freak rule followers are often not very creative people. Although almost every character trait is linked to everything we do, some things are more telling than others. Eating is certainly one of those bigger tells.

Now when it comes to our sexuality, we are like Rome. All roads lead to it. Almost everything we think and do can be a direct link to our sexuality. Eating and sex has to have a close link to each other.

Physically we use our mouths to eat. We also use our mouths to have sex. Also our chosen level of hygiene for our mouths is usually the same for our genital areas. And how we use our hands, in combination with our mouths are the same as how we handle our genitals and hers.

Emotionally we deal with the hunger for food the same as our hunger for sex. And the level of quality in what we eat and the quality of how we eat is related to the quality of our sexuality.

HOW WOMEN INTERPRET HOW AND WHAT YOU EAT

I consider myself fairly knowledgeable about women. I know enough to know you usually can’t tell what they are thinking or accurately interpret anything they observe. Women are chaotic by nature so any guy who thinks he’s got women figured out is just being fooled by his own ego.

There are a couple of basic guidelines that can be used in interpreting what women think. There’s no telling what a particular woman is attracted to, but generally, most women want a guy to be able to make them feel like a woman. And the easiest way to make a girl feel like a woman is for you to be a man. Almost no girl wants a boy. They want a man. So if you eat like a boy, then it could be no bueno for you, papi.

Imagine how women interpret a guy eating real fast and messy like an 8 year-old boy would after coming in from playing outside (as if 8 year-olds still play outside). What does that say about how you have sex? How about when you order chili cheese fries and barbeque spare ribs and you can’t get the food in your mouth without getting rib sauce everywhere from your ears to your elbows? That’s boyish and not manly and although some girls might think it’s cute, they’ll also think you’re not good at sex. This means she may move the hair from your eyes and wipe your dirty barbeque sauced face, but she won’t fuck you.

Women also interpret the ritual and habits of how you eat. Is it organized? Do you sit down to eat with the plan of enjoying the process? Are you clean and precise with how you cut the food and prepare the portions on your fork? Is there a quality about how you move your hands and mouth when you eat and drink? How do you manage your chewing with your conversing? Are you in control of your desire to feed your hunger? Is the timing of your mouthfuls, chewing, and drinking smooth? All these things are telling about what kind of man you are and how you have sex.

Eating with control of your body and hunger in a clean and organized way is eating like a man and women will find that attractive. They may also read that as you being good at sex because having sex like a man might make them feel like a woman which is their goal.

Some guys might disagree with all of this. I know at least a couple guys who think that doing whatever they want and not giving a shit what women think IS being a man and therefore is attractive. While I agree the don’t give a fuck attitude can be attractive, it will only take you so far. You can not give a fuck all you want but if you don’t eat like a confident and together man, you’re gonna have a harder time being attractive and will probably end up spending a lot more energy manipulating and convincing to get women to have sex with you. Jus’ sayin, playboy!

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