During my research of this topic, I noticed that most sites listed red flags (signs she is a bad girlfriend or wife) for women that could only be noticed after getting to know her a little. For a guy like me though, this information could be too late.
Some guys (like me) are mostly focused on the positive aspects of a girl. We will begin to justify her red flags very early on in the relationship. It may be too late even after just a few dates and sex to find out about her red flags. As our minds will already be accepting her shortcomings in lieu of her strengths. For some of us, the window of deciding that this girl won’t be worth the effort is very small. Let’s say a safe window is 3 dates.
Here then are 23 early warnings for guys before they lose their ability to cut a chick loose for sucking.
RED FLAGS TO NOTE WITHIN THE FIRST THREE DATES
1. She wears too much makeup
Certainly, this is subjective as most guys don’t know a lot about makeup. But if to you she looks about twenty minutes of application short of a clown, then that could be bad. Most women know a lot about wearing makeup. Wearing too much of it says that she may have some self-perception issues. This can equate to some serious pain for her boyfriend later. So, if she looks made up like a ladyboy from Bangkok, give pause.
2. She doesn’t like sex
You may find out six months later after you’ve had sex several times that she doesn’t really like it. That really sucks. But you didn’t know and there may be some adjustments the two of you can make in order for things to work out.
If the girl is expressing her dislike for sex early on, then you need to believe it. She’s bringing it up early because it’s been an issue for her in her past relationships. She is qualifying you to make sure you would be ok with a sub-standard sexual relationship. If this is something you don’t at all want, pay the bill and quickly put her on her bike and push.
3. She doesn’t have a job
This isn’t as big a red flag as it would be for a guy but it’s still a potential negative tell. It may be ok that she doesn’t work but if she doesn’t have a really, really good reason, then you may want to walk.
Her not having a job can mean so many bad things. The biggest one is that she is looking for a guy to pay for her life. If that’s something you don’t mind, then I hope you have some flow. It takes a ton of money to pay for another human’s existence. Especially a lazy woman who feels entitled.
4. She loves dogs or cats a little too much
A woman who loves domestic animals a little too much might suggest that they have some issues with other humans. She may have control issues too or be such a difficult person that she requires the level of unconditional love that only a dog can give. Jus’ sayin’
5. She says no a lot
This may not be my most accurate observation but it’s my opinion that no is the default answer for most women. If early on in the courtship, she is telling you no to a lot of things, it could mean she’s not that into you, or she will be hard to please later, or she is not very adventurous.
Women who say no too much in the beginning usually means she’ll be telling you no throughout the relationship. Even if it becomes long term. And I must tell you that having a girlfriend or wife that always tells you no kinda sucks.
6. Her place is a mess
The way this works is, a guy has to have a clean car and a girl has to have a clean place. There may not be enough room in the passenger seat of her car for you to sit from an accumulation of shit and that’s ok. But if you go to her apartment and it’s a mess, red flag!
Please note that I’m talking about a single woman who at least has the potential of inviting you over. I once ran into a girl I went to high school with and we hit it off quick. She didn’t live too far away so I wanted to go to her place. She said no because her place was too messy. I respected that so we made out in my truck and then went our separate ways. She knew this rule.
7. She has never been in a relationship longer than a year
This is a huge red flag! It would take a book to state all the negative things this says about her becoming your girlfriend. If you are a race fan, it would be like a driver who always seems to wreck his car in the first few laps.
Chances are if the girl hasn’t been in even one successful long term relationship, five or ten other red flags are going to pop up before the end of a couple of dates. She may be beautiful, fun, smart, or a number of other things that’ll make you think she’s the one. But don’t get attached to her. If you do, it’s gonna hurt like hell in a little while. Believe me on this.
8. She pays close attention to you looking at other women
OK so you are out on a date and there are other people around including some other women. You’re a guy so you can’t help but notice some of them. I’m not saying you are being disrespectful to your date but if she is hyper-sensitive to your slight head turn, mention, or quick eye shift, then this could mean she is an overly jealous woman.
If your slight acknowledgment of another female in the room causes this first date girl you’re with to say something about it, then that is a red flag. She may be severely insecure which means, as her boyfriend, you can never look at another woman again. And let’s be honest here, if you and she are over the age of sixteen, this is in no way acceptable.
9. She makes negative scenes in public
Crazy and overly passionate women make for some of the best sex you’ll ever have. But if she can’t keep her crazy from spilling over in public, this is a big red flag. There are few guys I feel sorrier for than who I see out in public with some out of control chick blowing a gasket over some stupid shit.
The good news here is that this is perhaps the easiest red flag to see and act upon, even if the sex was great later on. It’s truly amazing what some will tolerate behind closed doors. But out in the open is a totally different story.
10. She has no friends
This may be hard to notice at first so I suggest asking questions about her friends early on. If you have ever seen any episodes of The Bachelor or other reality dating tv with multiple women, then you know that the girls who can’t get along with other girls is a red flag. This may not be the biggest thing to give you pause but it’s worth noting.
11. She is uncompromising
I have a number of girl friends who are perpetually single. A few are so because they are purely uncompromising. There has never been even one healthy relationship that had one who didn’t change at all while the other changed in every way. A relationship forms two people into one in many ways. Two people who won’t change can never make a relationship with each other or anyone else for that matter.
The good news about this red flag is she will show being uncompromising very early on. And although we as guys will deal well a lack of compromise later in the relationship, we won’t early on. Hence my uncompromising perpetually single girlfriends.
12. She is emotionally unavailable
This is a dangerous red flag because it can be hidden until it is too late and you’ve later become attached before you notice it. Her emotional unavailability may be hard to see because she may not know she is incapable of attachment, so she will try hard to be at first.
This is a state that guys are famous for having but the truth is many, many women are not able to connect with a man emotionally. And few things suck worse than falling in love with a woman who, despite what you give her, cannot return the feelings. It’s important to see this early on so you can get the fuck away before it’s too late.
I wish the hell I had a list of questions or scenarios that could expose this early, but there really aren’t other than her straight up telling you she has issues with it or that she hasn’t ever been in an LTR. If she admits she has connection issues, you best fucking believe her. Do not think that you will be somehow the one she can connect with. That’s a fool’s errand that will put you living in frustration for months resulting in eventual heartbreak. Push away from the table and call her an Uber ASAP!
13. She is fake
The biggest problem with a chick being fake is that you don’t know who the fuck you are dealing with. And chances are she is being fake because her true self either sucks or she thinks it does. That’s a bright red flag.
If this girl is super hot to you and worth the extra effort, you could proceed by trying to knock her fake walls down. Let her know you are a non-judgmental person and then ask her questions that she can’t be fake about. Ask questions like “what’s the worse thing you’ve ever done to someone” or “what do you really hate and wish you didn’t” or something like that. Try to get her to say something real about herself. If, after a while, all you get is canned bullshit fake answers, tell her it’s been nice but you have to get up early tomorrow so you gotta go. Help that fake chick up on her unicorn pony and give it a spank and a hee-yah!
14. She is rude
This is a red flag but not a total deal breaker. She may have had the worse day of her life and can’t help but be a bitch. If she is rude more than a few times or at two different outings, beware. Odds are a rude chick will constantly disrespect you and none of the people in your life will like her very much. All I’m saying is the sex had better be worth it because, with a rude girlfriend, your social life is gonna take a hit.
15. She is too expensive
I knew a girl who said she wouldn’t date any guy who didn’t make at least four hundred thousand dollars a year. And that was in the nineties when 400k was a lot of income. LOL
Let’s be honest here. Some extremely hot women want an extremely monetarily successful man. If you don’t match her level of desired lifestyle, it’s best for all to bow out early. I know, But she’s so fucking hot. Tough shit buddy. Pay the expensive Morton’s bill and call her an UberBLACK. She’s not for you.
16. Bad Hygiene
This is an easy one. If she can’t take a shower and brush her teeth before meeting a guy at the beginning of a relationship, then she either doesn’t give a shit about a relationship or she’s been to too many Burning Man’s or Phish concerts to be able to tell the difference. And let’s be honest, if her armpits smell, imagine what other areas of her body smell. Never good. Bounce.
17. She is too easy
It may be true that most of us are down for a good time. When looking for a girlfriend though, you don’t want to have to worry about if she’s blowing every guy she meets even after she’s committed to you.
Also, easy come usually means easy go. You don’t want to invest any amount of emotion on some chick who will easily fall for the next guy that comes along just as soon as you didn’t have time to give her enough attention.
18. She is clingy
Just the other night, I was out with a friend of mine and he was telling me about a girl he just met. After just the first date she was blowing him up day and night making way too many plans. Red flag indeed.
A woman needs to have a degree of contentment in her life even when she is between boyfriends. Her wanting to immediately change her life to incorporate it with some guy she just met suggests some instabilities.
19. She drinks. A lot!
A fairly standard rule to a first let’s grab a drink date is to have one drink. Then if things are going ok, order another round. After two drinks, the date should either end or move to dinner or some other activity. If, before you’ve finished your beer, she’s already on her second double Tito’s and club soda, that’s a red flag.
People do shit out of character when they are nervous and some will drink more than normal. That’s understandable but, if after she’s had the fourth cocktail, she’s having no problem holding the convo, she may be a drinker. And drinkers may be a lot of fun but they will eventually give you some heartache if you attach to them emotionally.
20. She flakes out too much
Women are flaky. Period. It’s just one of the differences between men and women. As a man, you’re gonna have to just deal with the females in your life saying they will do something and then not do it or show up.
To find a girl who isn’t flaky is too rare an occurrence for that to be a must have. Any guy requiring this won’t have too many girlfriends. Jus’ Sayin’.
If it takes three attempts to even go out once with a girl because she’s flaked out on you the first two dates, that’s most certainly a red flag. You may decide to continue to pursue this kind of girl for one reason or the other but just know this – she’s gonna continue to be uber flaky even after you get into a relationship with her. And will that really be worth it?
21. She is demeaning
This can be a subtle personality flaw but it will affect you greatly. It’s not fun or productive to have someone insinuating that who you are, what you’ve done, or what you are planning on doing is stupid. Even if you are a super confident person, her demeaning will eventually penetrate you and you’ll start to feel bad about yourself at least in some small way. Fuck that!
Demeaning people are trying to pull the people around them down to their level of unconfidence. It will be tough to try to raise her up to your level and absolutely not worth the effort. She is toxic! Quickly throw some money at the table and get the fuck out of there.
22. She badmouths a lot
If every story she tells and everything she describes is anchored with shitty people, sucky places, and bad events, that’s a red flag. I’m not saying she needs to be some fake bitch who won’t say a bad word about anything. But if more things suck to her than are good, that will wear you down to a nub.
Some people enjoy being negative. It makes them funny and entertaining and drives them in life. That’s ok but if a woman can’t hold that shit in check for at least the first few dates with a new guy, she may just be a bitch. And do you want a genuine bitch for your old lady? I know I don’t.
23. She has had at least one serious long term lesbian relationship
This may be an old school way of thinking but if you are planning on dating a former lesbian, just know that she’s probably not a former lesbian. A couple of homosexual women friends of mine have told me of transition relationships that they have had with men and that they have always gone back to women. This may sound like no big deal but it takes a certain kind of guy to go through something like this unscathed.
Many women go through an experimental stage where they play around with other women and quite frankly, as a guy, who can blame them. Women are beautiful. For most of them though, this is just a quick stage of curiosity and they go back to the opposite sex. I’m not talking about this kind of girl. I’m talking about a full blown homosexual female here.
It’s one thing to lose your girlfriend to another guy with a penis. Maybe you could have treated her better in some ways or many and kept her. But if she leaves you and her next LTR is with a woman, you will wonder if you were ever able to satisfy her AND if it was all really just a big lie. And that is some pain you’ll want to avoid if you can.
It may be hard for you to find a girl and get into a relationship. Depending on the guy, a few months or a year of not getting laid will put them in a dangerous mode of desperation. Others may get so tired of going through low-quality women that, when they find a girl with even one good quality, they try too hard to make her work for a relationship.
Although it may be tough to get into a relationship, it can be even harder to get out of one. A relationship with some fucked-up chick can really ruin who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to do.
Don’t decide with your penis and make sure you feel good about yourself with being with a certain girl before pulling the relationship trigger. Finding the right mate can change everything for the better. Having a shitty girlfriend though can suck balls. And not in a good way.
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