You may have seen this guy. At a party, he always has a woman or two around him and they are getting along nicely. You watch them from afar and notice the body language of the women. They are engaged with this guy. It looks like they are hanging on his every word. As you and your drink stand there alone in a corner you wonder, “what’s this guy got that I don’t?” Maybe not much. Let’s see.
Since you’re not talking to anyone at the moment, you hang back and watch this guy talking to seemingly all the women. What do you see? “He’s probably gay” you think, hoping that he is so you feel better as you know women love gay guys. You listen closer. “Nope. He’s not gay” you correctly determine as you feel more distant. With your assessment, you also see the guy is not particularly good looking or in great shape or rich or anything else that normally makes you think women would want to be around him. Nope. He’s none of those things.
“He actually seems like a pretty cool dude” you think as you’ve now spent several minutes stalking his conversation. Frustrated, you disengage and start looking at your phone for real. “It’s going to be another disappointing night for me” you resolve as you sink back into your fantasy football world.
I’m a really social guy but can sympathize with the above lonely guy as I have been him many times. I’ve also been the guy with the women around him too. I like being that guy better. Here’s some of the things that will help you be more interesting to women.
WHAT’S EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE TOPIC? THEMSELVES, OF COURSE.
Women are no different than men when it comes to this. In fact, women may be more receptive to being allowed to talk about themselves. Allowing people to talk to you about them is not as easy as it sounds though. It can actually be quite tough for some guys. Here’s what you have to do:
Start by being genuine – We all know fake. If you are fake, she won’t care to talk about herself. She’ll just keep her guard up. Be yourself so she can talk about herself.
Ask her questions – I should say “ask her the right questions” instead. One good question should lead to another better question. For example;
You, “Where do you work?”
Her, “So and so place.”
You, “Do you like it there?”
Her, “It’s ok I guess. The hours are long.”
You, “Well what would rather be doing”?
Her, “ Well I’d rather be travelling instead of just sitting in that cubicle.”
You, “Really? Where would you want to go?” Now this is the question you want to ask her.
Her “ Well I’d love to go to blah blah land but would settle for the beach. Ha ha.”
You, “That sounds interesting. Why there?”
Now you are talking to her and discovering who she is by where she wants to go. You can find out who she is by talking about anything. Just make sure the questions layer deeper towards who she really is.
Learn to listen – If listening was easy, then most guys would do it. There’s a huge difference between hearing and listening. Women know when you are actually listening to them and they love that. Just like you love it when someone is really listening to your bullshit. Right? None of this works if you don’t listen so get out of your own head and visit hers for a while.
Keep the topic on her – If this conversation is going well, she may start asking you questions about yourself. That’s great but you want to keep your answers short and then get back to her life. You may think you two are getting along so well that you can now drone on about yourself because she’s asking. Yeah, don’t do that! Remember everyone’s favorite topic. Unless you’re a Rockstar or prolific novelist, the girl you are talking to would rather talk about herself. Chances are she doesn’t want to hear about your civil war re-enactments. OK?
End or pause the conversation – So things have gone well with you and this woman by allowing her to talk about herself. She’s thinking you’re a pretty cool guy. Now put an end to it. This is a gathering and not a date. There are other people to talk to for you both. Bow out by going to the bathroom or saying you have to make a phone call or something. It’s best if you end the conversation instead of her.
SOME OTHER THINGS TO MAKE YOU MORE INTERESTING
Be slightly mysterious
When it comes to women, sometimes less is more. They pride themselves on their intuition so allow them to use it. Maybe you are the most interesting man in the world. You drink Dos Equis and everything. Maybe you are a boring Cheeto-eating mega-gamer in need of a real life. Regardless, don’t tell them much about you. Keep the topic away from who you are. I’m not saying to not talk about yourself when they ask but make them earn the information.
Don’t try to fuck them
I can’t express the importance of this one enough. Remember at the start of this article when lonely guy thought the guy talking to the women was probably guy? Yeah, women seem to love gay guys. Why do you think that is? Are homosexual men more interesting than straight guys? They may have a broader fashion sense but other than that, all guys are the same except for that one thing. Gay men are in no way trying to fuck women.
How does this make a difference? Well it makes all the difference in the world. With a gay guy, she can be at ease and be herself more which lets down a bunch of walls. Chances are, you are going to want to have sex with some of the women you meet. That’s fine and good for you. I know that I do. But don’t try! Get to know them without that being your endgame for talking to them. And don’t try to fake it because they’ll know. Remember they are intuitive. Genuinely don’t try to have sex with them or this won’t work. Don’t worry though. This doesn’t mean you won’t be getting laid. If you are cool and fun, some will develop plenty of attraction to you. More than they have for you now.
Have more to talk about than sports, fishing, and gaming.
It’s not hard really. You just make a small effort to read up on some things. Now I don’t mean you have to watch hours of Lifetime channel or go to Michaels for some plastic flower arranging. Almost all women love to talk of travelling. Look up some cool places in the world to go to. Most women also love spiritual and holistic things so you learn something about meditation, yoga, acupuncture, drum circles, tarot cards, palm reading, the benefits of smelling lavender while sniffing cinnamon, or anything else involving vegan unicorns. I’m not just trying to be funny here. Have something to say about this stuff and it’ll go a long way in you being more interesting to women.