In our American society, we look up to athletes. Even in childhood, kids in sports gain respect and are often considered quality individuals. Physical competition is as natural as a mountain range and has been an important part of almost all known cultures both past and present. Every group from family to tribe to country has sports competitions. They are important for honing individual survival skills and in identifying who is good at what in a group.
Cultures of all sizes praise the winners of sports competitions. Knock some kind of a ball in some kind of a hole better than anyone else, and you’re an upstanding member. The society that a winning athlete is in looks up to him/her as more than just the guy who can ball the best. They also look up to him/her as having better morals, better discipline, more respect, are brave, courageous and more trustworthy.
Top athletes of a civilization or culture are also worshiped by many. This worship puts athletes in a state of perfection as far as their followers are concerned. Worshiped athletes are considered to be all things good. They are smart, good-looking, and sensible, have perfect hygiene, never feel bad, don’t have problems, are good with money, and are super attractive in every way. Top male athletes are all considered to have big penises, are good with women, and, oh yea, know how to fight.
These perceptions are of course, mostly inaccurate. There are countless examples of top athletes being normal people with normal problems. Dan Marino was perhaps the most accurate quarterback in NFL history, but he’s not the brightest star in the sky. Tiger Woods couldn’t keep his dick in his pants for more than five minutes. Pete Rose had a bit of a gambling problem. And Evander Holyfield made 560 million dollars and went bankrupt.
WHY WE THINK ATHLETES KNOW HOW TO FIGHT
Most sports teach little about how to fight someone. Obviously, combat sports like boxing and MMA do, but not the more widespread sports. Baseball will teach you how to swing a mean piece of wood and football will teach you how to tackle somebody to the ground, but that won’t stop them from getting their ass kicked by some good ol’ boy that grew up with four older brothers.
Certainly, athletes are usually in great physical shape. They also know how to push themselves physically and are used to competing with others. These are things that make the rest of us think that they can fight. And sure, a guy who has to be in good shape to compete with others physically for their job has a much better chance of being a good fighter than say, an accountant or cheeto eating web developer. But you never know.
Being good at fighting is the same as being good at anything. Practice makes better. A big badass NFL player may have an amazing ability to come off the line and bring some other guy holding a football to the ground because that’s what he has done since he was a boy in Pop Warner. He may not have ever thrown a punch in his life though and therefore probably wouldn’t generate much power with one. Regardless of him not knowing how to punch or strike, I wouldn’t want to mess with him.
Even though most sports don’t teach athletes how to fight doesn’t mean they can’t hurt you more than a timeshare salesman could. Here then, is a list of sports, some with athletes you may not want to fight. The three criteria are physical ability, intimidation, and fighting technique.
LIST OF TOP SPORTS AND IF YOU WOULD WANT TO FIGHT THEIR ATHLETES
Baseball – Baseball players come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big and strong, and some are short or skinny. They all are used to having something hard come close to them at a really fast speed, and that’s good for fighting.
It’s good to avoid a strike while staying close and baseball teaches that. This is why pitchers hold their ground well when a batter charges the mound. The punches usually aren’t very impressive, but the only slight avoidance of the swinging is.
Physical ability – 7
Intimidation factor- 7
Fighting technique – 7
Basketball – Almost all of these guys are tall. Tall is intimidating but not necessarily good for fighting. The reach is a plus for striking, but a tall guy’s center of gravity is high which can make it harder for balance, stability, and power generation.
Basketball teaches standing grappling well which is quite valuable in real-world fighting.
Physical ability – 7
Intimidation factor – 8
Fighting technique – 8
Boxing – This is a combat sport so yea; it’s good to avoid a fight with a boxer. Boxing teaches how to punch with power, where to punch, and how to take a punch. These are really, really good things to know when fighting. Fighting is exhausting, and boxing gives you fighting stamina which is really good in the real world if the fight actually lasts longer than twenty seconds.
Physical ability – 9
Intimidation factor – 6
Fighting technique – 9
Bowling – When I was young, I bowled for some years and really enjoyed it. There is little or no fighting value in this sport though. There should be no added fear or intimidation when considering bowlers. Unless you are a bowling pin or a basket of fries.
Physical ability – 4
Intimidation factor – 3
Fighting technique – 2
Football – This is the number one major sport in America, and that’s mainly because it’s so violent. We love this controlled violence. Because of this, most guys don’t want to mess with football players. Many of them may not be good fighters though.
A high-end real estate friend of mine sells houses to a lot of famous people and pro ball players in Central Florida. A couple of years ago, a client of his, who is a retired and well known NFL player, had some issues with his neighbor in an exclusive neighborhood (Isleworth) here in Orlando. The ex-NFL’s neighbor was an angry guy and was in no way intimidated by his status as a famous football guy.
Things heated up between them and they found themselves in the middle of their street talking shit and about to fight. Realizing that this was about to get physical, the ex-NFL guy dropped down into a three-point stance and faced off against his angry neighbor. Confused by the football stance, the neighbor didn’t advance, and neither did the player. They both stood there in the middle of the road, one standing on his feet and the other in a three-point stance. Seconds were like minutes as they silently squared off.
The moment passed, and they never fought but to my friend, who was there, it was hilarious to see a huge grown man drop down into a football posture when he was about to fight. This was the instinct football taught this guy when it came to fighting.
Physical ability – 7
Intimidation factor – 8
Fighting technique – 7
Soccer – This sport of the world is unseemingly tough and gets my full respect. It won’t teach much on how to fight though. The use of your hands and arms are of paramount importance when fighting, and soccer players aren’t allowed to use them. They could kick or head butt you to absolute death though.
Soccer can also teach you to be a fainting goat which is absolutely not good for fighting.
Physical ability – 7
Intimidation factor – 6
Fighting technique – 8
MMA – Mixed martial arts is the “all the rage” combat sport right now. It has become more popular than boxing. Since this sport is all about fighting, it’s naturally going to rank high in the “you don’t want to mess with this sport’s athlete” category.
Physical ability – 10
Intimidation factor – 10
Fighting technique – 10
Golf – I know golf is really hard, and guys love their golf. But let’s be real, it’s only marginally more physical than bowling. At least it’s outside. Shooting under par may be tough to do, but when players can do it in a collared shirt and tight white pants, it takes away something from it. As a result, you won’t find much of a fighting attitude at the nineteenth hole. Unless you get in the way of the donuts and John Daly.
Physical ability – 5
Intimidation factor – 3
Fighting technique – 2
Hockey – I’ll just cut to the chase here, you don’t want to mess with a hockey player! It’s not as prevalent as it used to be, but Hockey has fist fighting in it. How cool is that? And anyone that can generate a punch with that much power while standing on thin blades on ice is not to be fucked with.
Physical ability – 8
Intimidation factor – 8
Fighting technique – 8
Wrestling – The sport of wrestling is no joke. It’s a combat sport that requires a crazy amount of fighting stamina. Much props to wrestlers. They may not learn to strike much, but that doesn’t matter. You still don’t want to fight a wrestler.
Physical ability – 10
Intimidation factor – 8
Fighting technique – 10
Some sports teach some things about fighting, but most don’t. To me, fighting another person of equal ability one on one is the most difficult thing to do in sports. It’s much harder to master than hitting home runs or making birdies and eagles.
